


Toi et Moi • You and I

by Judith H (Elizabeth_Mary_Holmes)



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Foreign Language, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, Genosha, Life Partners, Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:27:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21535192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elizabeth_Mary_Holmes/pseuds/Judith%20H
Summary: Through the years, they changed, their relationship changed, but it was to allow them to be, at last, themselves.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Comments: 14
Kudos: 19





	Toi et Moi • You and I

**Author's Note:**

> This text was my participation to the zine _Bookends to the Same Soul_ , you can find them on Tumblr and Twitter @ cherikzine. The title comes from the gorgeous Charles Aznavour's song [_Toi et Moi_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poL1Qtd7fx8&ab_channel=CharlesAznavour)

**_Sehnsucht  
_** _Borrowed from German:  
_ _Tender, wistful, and/or melancholic desire; yearning, longing._

  
  


The moment I took you out of the dark waters, I knew something happened. Something I had no name for. Something I would not dare to name. I was afraid. 

Something I would not dare to call for what it was. 

Do you remember our first time? Do you remember that stolen kiss in that darkened alley before we entered the bar? That's all we ever did back then. 

What if we had been caught, if we had been seen?

What if I had been slowly but surely falling? 

I was shy, I was bashful, I was ashamed of what I was. 

I remembered Kurt's shouts and sneers, I remember Cain's taunts about inverts being perverts. 

But how could it be bad to _love_? 

You told me you longed for something you did not know. 

I did not know either. 

But on your lips, in those stolen moments, it felt like I had found an answer, hanging in the void between you and I, in some unreachable place, u-topia. (Later I would call it by its name, Genosha)

  
  


**_Saudade  
_** _Borrowed from Portuguese:  
_ _The feeling of missing something or someone._

  
  


It was meant to be our first night. For a long time, for a decade, it had been our last. 

  
  


**_Hiraeth  
_** _Borrowed from Welsh and Proto-Brythonic:  
_ _Homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, or for a home which may have never been._

  
  


I can't be naked under your eyes.

I can't bare my soul to you, Charles. 

Not after what I've done to you. 

But the metal sings to me, your belt buckle is soon undone. 

You hate me. 

I hate you.

I love you. 

You love me. 

You want me (dead).

Your lips on mine in a crash. 

Is it love, is it hatred? 

But fuck, that's so good. 

That encounter with the shadow of the ghost of what we once shared. 

But come always tasted bitter. 

My home was in your arms.

And your arms are now closed. 

  
  
  
  
  


**_Retrouvailles  
_** _Borrowed from French:  
_ _A reunion, especially after a long time apart._

See how ludicrous it is for us to meet in Paris. At the Café des Vieux Copains. I know your French was always better than mine and I imagine you laughing at the irony of that. Rue de la Paix on top of that. You had always said peace was never an option. Till it was. 

However what you gave me that day, Erik, is not peace, but Hope. Hope you tell me I was the one to give you. But trust me, it was you giving me Hope. The chess-set for old time's sake, the usual prelude to our love-making when we were younger, another night in another lifetime, in Paris. 

We are different, we are not the same men. 

Time has changed us. 

But didn't we became more ourselves in the end, my friend. 

A lifetime ago, when I first met you.

And not even knowing your name or who you were, I was already in love with you. 

  
  
  


**_End :  
_**_• From an English word with multiple meanings amongst which :  
__•The terminal point of something in space or time.  
__• The cessation of an effort, activity, state, or motion._  
• A purpose, goal, or aim. 

Quand je n'ai qu'à tendre la main pour toucher la tienne.  
_When extending my hand is all I need to touch yours._

Quand je n'ai qu'à te regarder pour que tu m'embrasse.  
_When by a single glance, our lips meet in a kiss._

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
